Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Parenting: Relearning

I try to be a good mom as best as I can but more times than not I feel exasperated in my handling and disciplining of the children. What I thought was my best intention has turned out to be a tug-of-war with the kiddos and usually ended with me hollering nasty words at the kids and we all feel angry and upset. 

Of late I witnessed in many occasions that a reflection of my behaviour was seen on the kids. The tone, mannerism and the words they used on each other. That's when I knew I need to make a conscious effort to change, my behaviour and the words that I use, that is.

I went through my bookshelf in search for the right book that might help me. I pulled out this book that has been collecting dust at the back end of the bookshelf which a friend recommended that I read some 5-6years ago. Read it once but have totally forgotten all the wisdom and insights that I've so conscientiously highlighted on each page the last time.

Now I see more relevance in reading this book than previously because my kids are of the exact age where I find it most challenging in managing them.

I hope to be able to share more insights that I've drawn from this book in future posts. Before that this is a quote from the book which serves as a good reminder -

"The common thread in all healthy forms of adult-child communication involves changing our role from judge, dictator, or manager to just and impartial guide. If we act as children's managers, we have to solve their problems for them. Thus, they're spared any of the discomforts or inconveniences inherent in thinking for themselves, and the burden falls on us to make them as close to society's standards for perfection as possible."

1 comment:

SY said...

i share your thoughts on this ... thank you for sharing, with your sharing, it becomes a reminder to other parents as well.