I've been asked this question a lot whenever I meet relatives and friends whom I've not met a while... those who have read my blog entries and were concerned about my struggles in dealing with Tim's growing pains over the past months.
It's been a long process but I've taken it to my stride that it was a passing phase... looking in retrospect I believe the journey was necessary not just for Tim but more for me to learn and to grow as I parent my kids. There's still much work to be done in my walk as a parent before I reach nirvana, it's however, enriching and definitely meaningful!
Tim has been behaving better over the past few months at home and in school (as I haven't receive much negative feedback from the teacher-in-charge for a while). He's also been able to take instructions much better now and more often than not I've witnessed his willingness to share much more spontaneously without my prompting (he was even willing to share his most precious Oreo cookie with his friend last week during our playdate *smile*). He's playing with his sister much better now, though the frequent sibling squabbling/fights still prevail (the fun of growing up together, I guess).
Just yesterday, I had a short conversation with Tim's teacher-in-charge, although she didn't sing praises of how well behaved Tim has been but there weren't any complaints either... I took it positively that Tim hasn't been giving her much trouble for the past months - that's good news to me, honestly!
Being active and curious with a streak of cheekiness in him, that's just how he was wired to be... that's just how most kids of his age would behave too... so I've learned to accept that it's part and parcel of growing up. I've tried to refrain from labelling him as a child with a behavioural problem. I've learned to deal with Tim as well as Little Missy's needs bearing in mind that they are afterall below the age of 5; recognizing their natural behaviour due to their developmental stages has made me look at situations in a broader perspective and not get too myopic about the nitty gritties of their non-compliance sometimes.
In the past 8 months I've also walked a long way (a treacherous one I have to admit) to realize that Tim's struggles stemmed from the fact that he was trying hard to adjust to the multiple major changes that went on in our household and in our lives. I've failed initially to address the problems properly which resulted to Tim's misbehaviour (this usually happens when a young child is unable to express the "stress" they are going through and it further aggravates the problem when the parents fail to help and guide the child through this phase of his life). Sometimes, we get too caught up with the problem that we failed to take a step back to see the broader picture; to identify where the root of the problem came from thereby feel totally swept up within this whirlwind of confusion and helplessness. I was heartened though that things have fallen into place better for us at this stage, but if I had knew the root problem earlier, and took the right actions and behaviour, we might not have to walk through this turbulent time for so long.
My child is not a perfect child because I am not a perfect parent. I am glad though, we've went through this difficult time together, it's part of my training as a parent, I suppose. And as for what other challenges might come next? We'll see, but I'm definitely willing to walk through them because I know we'll overcome them as we go along.
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