Monday, May 07, 2007

Maid-to-go-home....SIGHHHHH....

Just when I thought I'm in bliss with a capable and efficient maid... issues surfaced (so quick isn't it?)... I didn't even realise till towards end last week...

Mildred told us she's down with gastric pain... and told us a looooong story of how she has developed this problem since her school days...and how she can't eat too much neither can she eat too little... and how very often this problem would arise etc etc etc... our immediate reaction was to send her to the doctor for a quick check... we noted her hesitance about seeing a doctor... and as first time employers, we didn't know much that she can still see the GP even when her work permit is still in the midst of processing...so we refrain from sending her to the doctor till the work permit is ready...sigh...

Then to our horror... so much more things started to surface as we heard from my sis-in-law (SIL) the things Mildred has been telling my SIL's maid *faint* even my SIL related a lot of incidents of how Mildred has just placed Tim in the playpen the whole time and dozed off on the side, and she's been seen on her mobile phone (horrors, I only found out she's a MB after she joint us for 2 days) most of the time...

Hence, we decided to have a pep talk with Mildred and also to find out more what has been the problem. She sobbed as she came up with stories about how she's uncomfortable/afraid about taking care of Timothy and tired of doing housework...as we probe further for the truth, she said she missed home and kept thinking about her father... then we probe further, she said how my SIL has asked her to do so much work (which is totally untrue, as we've found out later), and we probe further... she said before she left her ex-employer she had wanted to go back to the Philippines and don't want to work anymore... *faint over twice*

I was upset beyond words could describe... I don't know how to react anymore... funny thing was I wasn't angry at all (just exasperated, I guess) when we discovered all these truth... I was literally 'NUMB'... don't know why... perhaps the reality hasn't kicked in... I just kept questioning myself and hubby... "Have I been an unfair employer...have I made her feel that I've ill-treated her...have I not let her feel as comfortable as possible...or perhaps there's too much work for her???" just questions... that I don't really have an answer to...

Hubby asked me not to brood over it... cos we've tried our best to give her what we think is the best for her... we gave her a nice brand new sofa bed to sleep on (with brand new bed sheets), we allowed her to sit with us to dine with us (no left over food for her, she ate what we ate at the same time), we allowed her to shower with the water heater on, we let her have her 8-hrs of required sleep, I cooked the meals at home myself, we tried to run around Tim most of the time ourselves when we are home.... sigh... *shrug* I really don't know... hubby said, it's more likely to be a BGR issue (which we found out from SIL that Mildred has a boyfriend back home) at home that's why she's wanting to go home...

We have no complaints about her at all, she's efficient, extremely particular about cleanliness (which is a trait both hubby and I are very happy about)... she seemed very hard working...we even honestly told Mildred all that...sigh...

Anyhow, we've brought Mildred back to the agent, firstly, she's exhibited signs of poor concentration at work, she had left the kettle on (over several occasions) in spite of the whistle going off at the stove for a long time), she's left the alarm clock going off without switching off... she looked listless and unhappy, secondly, my mother-in-law, had one of her diamond rings missing... sigh...

This has been quite an experience to me as a first-time-employer... how maids could come up with tricks/excuses to win my sympathy... and how gullible I can be to have believed her... sigh... horror stories can happen to me too...no matter how good an employer I thought I've been...

The only saving grace out of this whole episode is that we've discovered this problem early enough and nip the problem at the bud... I can't imagine what will happen to Timothy and to us especially with my impending delivery (when I needed a helper most).

Our only hope now is that the next maid would be better... *crossing fingers tight tight*...

Explanation :
Due to some comments and feedback I've gotten, I thought I'll better make some clarifcations about our experience with Mildred...

The reason Mildred has gone home... it's not because we wanted to send her back, but she insisted on going home even after our pep talk with her... in spite of our sympathy and willingness to give her some more time to adjust to our needs (we are her 3rd employer in her 8mths here in Singapore)...

Throughout the 9 days she's been with us... we've been thoroughly happy with her performance alas... she's still decided to go home... *shrug* we could only acede to her wish...

8 comments:

jean said...

Hi Pauline,
I can't help much in this maid issue but I can pray for you and family to tide over this.

May the strength and wisdom of our LORD and Saviour Jesus Christ be with you and your hubby to handle such issues.

Take care and don't stress too much. God bless.

Wokking Mum said...

Hai yo! This is one reason why I prefer to be a maid myself.

Mildred just dont know how to count her blessings lah. It's not easy to find nice employers (like you). No fortune for her.

Hope your next maid will be the right one for your family. Good luck!

Jan said...

Getting the right maid is never an easy task......that was why I don't had a maid to tide me over my toughest stage. Now, I don't even dream of getting another maid, I rather do everything myself.

Don't yourself dear, it's not yours nor your hubby's fault....just luck, pure luck....

Don't give up, keep on looking, am sure you will find the right maid...just a matter of time....take care ya, don't stress yourself out!

fannie said...

i can't help too...i don't trust domestic helpers cos there are too many stories.

I just hope that u can find a suitable one, and one that truly come for work :)

Wenzel 宛仟 said...

it's a matter of luck to get a good maid. My in-laws had never have any problem with maids for their past few years. However i myself cannot pass thru the mental barrier of hvg to stay with someone unknown which is why I chose childcare option for Wenzel.

May ur next maid be a great one who can help out in ur family.

Mama Bliss said...

thanks dear mummies for your sharing and encouragement... I've heard my fair share of horror stories about other people's maids too... sigh... if not for our circumstance I'd never allow a stranger living with us too... much less caused us so much trouble...SIGHHHHH....

IMMomsDaughter said...

*Sigh* So many stories about maids, that's why I never dare take in any. Even the part time one also make me vomit blood. Good luck with your new one :)

Frances said...

hi mamabliss,
perhaps to make you feel better, I changed 4 maids till the present one ever since I was expecting till 1 mth b4 I go back to work after my maternity leave... when maids say they wanna go home etc, no need for prep talk cos they are quite stubborn in this aspect... My 3rd maid wanna go home cos she missed home and her long broke-up bf.. we prep talk her for 2hrs.. in the end she still wanna go home... dun worry, you wil find the "perfect maid" for your household soon... just be prepared for some trials and errors along the way... dun get too attached to whoever that comes in cos you dunno how long they will be with you...really look upon them as helping you for the moment...